Alternate Route – Family doesn’t have to be strictly relative…

It’s true! Family doesn’t have to just be who you are stuck with through birthright and bloodlines. (Though some of us on this earth ARE lucky enough to be “stuck” with great branches on the old tree!)

I’ve always been a person with a very big and open heart. It often leads me into certain times of trouble and definitely makes getting hurt much easier and many times inevitable. I all too easily embrace people, good, bad and indifferent, search for their strengths and allow them space in my life. If they mess that up, through awful words and terrible actions, I still end up hurting because I feel that I mistakenly trusted and allowed them in.

It is very easy to break my heart.

The tradeoff to all of this is the opposite end of the stick, if you will. Finding those GOOD people and allowing them in, despite social failures of the past, is a skill that comes naturally. Sure, it is risky, but when the good is found, it changes me, my feelings, my environment and, of course, my happiness.

I have had additional families for most of my adult life. It never meant that I didn’t love my own nuclear family. Instead, it enhanced my life by providing me alternate answers, ideas and paths. Sometimes family isn’t always objective due to their intense love, protective feelings and sometimes conflicting ideals. Non-judgemental sounding boards can provide a deeper sense of clarity into personal issues and struggles.

I’ve been lucky enough to connect with people over many diverse things. I have television fandom friends, which may sound nerdy (and indeed is), who provide fun times not only recollecting favorite storylines and performers but who also choose to share their “real” lives as well. Oh the vacations with strangers I have had! (Did I just hear a gasp from across the country? No worries Nanny…) 🙂 Those “strangers” I have often talked to for YEARS before meeting at an event or out on the town… minus that crazy trip to Vancouver. 😉

I’ve also built strong relationships through other relationships. I have met friends through other friends. Sometimes that secondary friendship has become stronger than the first. I have created strong bonds with family members of ex’s. Yes, this is not ideal and can create a mess all on its own, but I wouldn’t trade my sisters for anything.

I have found friendship in the midst of tragedy. It is funny how relationships can quickly blossom and flourish out of devastation. Common suffering can indeed bring people together; often more strongly than anything else.

Love will always find a way to overcome.

Today, the song “For Good” from the musical Wicked was broadcast on television twice. Almost immediately after the first, I received a knock on the door from a UPS guy bearing an unexpected gift box from my chosen sisters with a note that they were thinking of me. Impeccable timing. It really got me thinking about how lucky I am to have good people in my life. Sure, the bad ones can get us down… EASILY, but never forget the good ones.

Like the song says:

“Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”

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~ by sillyauntjen on May 24, 2011.

One Response to “Alternate Route – Family doesn’t have to be strictly relative…”

  1. Awww! You are lucky to have this indeed!

    My happy thing this time around is a healthy tummy… oh how a full day without stomach pain is under-appreciated! Glad my few days of belly hell are (hopefully) over!

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