The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Valentine’s Day… and why I *shockingly* DON’T hate it.

I’m a Valentine’s Day junkie.

I’ll admit it.

I pretend to hate Valentine’s Day with fierce passion, as one might think that a person who is technically single must, but I can’t bring myself to totally write off a day that brought me such joy as a kid. I do believe, in fact, that I was born a hopeless romantic.

Sure, in elementary school EVERYONE in the class felt obligated to give EVERYONE else a Valentine. I don’t remember it ever being mandatory, as it is today; it’s just simply how it was done. Regardless, it just seemed that it was a day that most liked. There were so many great events leading up to and during the holiday: making Valentine’s mailboxes/bags, going to the store to find just the right cartoon sentiments, class parties/dances, secretly delivering notes of positivity to others… maybe even creating a special Valentine to give someone truly special.

There aren’t many days as a kid, and sadly even less as a grown-up, where you feel loved by everyone around you.

After all, even the obligatory cards were ones with happy messages on them!

Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day has become a day of pressure. Gone are the carefree days of sneaking little folded paper cards into classmates’ mailboxes. As a grown-up, the day devoted to love often leaves those without a mate feeling bitter, depressed and most sadly, alone. Facebook and twitter are swimming with sappy posts and pictures of happy couples. Those who are attached feel pressure to give the perfect gift. How can I show my significant other how much I love him/her? Will this be enough? Flowers? Candy? Jewelry? Those who work with other adults feel the pressure of receiving something at work. What if he doesn’t send flowers? What if there is nothing special planned? How will others view our relationship? Everyone will think we are on the outs or that he doesn’t love me.

Maybe he doesn’t…


I have definitely fallen victim to the Valentine’s Day worries. When you are with someone, EVERYONE asks what he/she got you for the big day. Though it is awful, there is always a judgement made about your relationship based on what was done or given on V-Day. Even if you could give two flips what others think, it is hard to ignore this.

What’s worse is when it affects your own view of your relationship.

I know, I know… if you are secure in your relationship, none of this should matter.

But what if you are not?

Again… STRESS.

I do agree that there should not be one day devoted to showing others how much we care about them. THAT is shameful. We should cherish our friendships, partnerships and relationships every day that we are in them… and even after, as life is a continuous learning process.

Still, the fact remains that Valentine’s Day DOES exist; it is what we do with it that truly counts.

Last year, I ran away for Valentine’s Day. I was afraid to be in a town where I had experienced so much heartache. I flew 3000 miles away from anything that might remind me of happy times with those I loved and thus the heart fractures that consequently resulted. I ended up having a fantastic time, discovering new things and places, and building up a friendship.

I know that not everyone is capable of escaping in this fashion, nor do I ever suggest running away as a solution.

I do suggest enjoying the things you love and spending time with people who matter to you.

Everyone is capable of celebrating others and spreading love. Even if you feel alone and unloved in this world, you are capable of spreading love to others. A smile, a kind word, a nice gesture… all make others feel loved and appreciated. What may seem to be an insignificant action to you might just mean the world to someone in need.

Everyone needs to feel acknowledged and loved.

Everyone DESERVES to feel acknowledged and loved.

I am constantly telling my students that life is all about choices. If you choose to break a rule, you choose to accept a consequence. In this case, if you choose to send love to others, chances are, sooner or later, in some way, shape or form, you will receive love back in return. If you choose to wallow in feelings of being unloved, ignored, bitter, depressed and/or alone, your chances of feeling loved drop dramatically.

See, it’s scientific! 😉

Confess your feelings to those you care about. Life is too short NOT to tell, and SHOW, others how much we care for them.


But maybe send a little folded up card anyway… 😉

~ by sillyauntjen on February 14, 2011.

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